helping good parents become great parents
before they becomegrandparents
In mothering lies great power
It is easy for mother to think the child's life is hers to control
That the child is to be molded to her ideal, his flaws hers to correct
Right mothering recognizes this false belief
A wise mother knows only her own flaws are for her to correct
The child comes whole, to mold himself for his own life
The power in motherhood is in the strength of supporting and loving and of being present
Which is hard enough
18. No Negotiations, why negotiations are stressful to children ...
Why are negotiations stressful to children? Because no matter what kind of egalitarian belief any adult might hold on the subject, children instinctively know something adults have long forgotten:
children are not and cannot be equal to adults
Not even the law declares them so. They aren't, period. Wishing cannot make it so.
Why can't children be equal to adults?
Because they have a different set of needs from the adults than the adults have from the children.
Children know they need the continued goodwill of their parents to survive. Parents are not vulnerable in this way to losing the approval and affection of their children.
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