helping good parents become great parents

Link to the original blogspot, with posts dating back to 2008

Surrender to the necessity of the task

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water
After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water

There will be no time in your life when feeding and cleaning does not need to be done, however much modern conveniences ease the work. Accept that it must be done, without end.

Be it resolved that the truth of kids doing chores is: ‘we all need to work as a family.’

Opposed: How do you know that’s true?

Affirmative: it’s self-evident: it’s our home and we need to work together for it to be peaceful and healthy

Even if by 'working together' you mean one's the boss and everyone else is a minion?

Be it resolved that the truth of kids doing chores is ‘mom/dad needs a break.’

Opposed: How do you know that’s true?

Affirmative: I/we work hard

Opposed: Good. Hard work is good for people, especially their mental health.

Be it resolved that the truth of kids doing chores is ‘they need to learn how.’

... argue that point in the affirmative, and see where it gets you...

Short answer: good luck with that.

What parents need isn't for kids to handle. Adults help kids with their needs, not the other way around.

Parent Question 1.       

How can I make my child listen?

Parent Coach Answer 1.         

You mean 'obey.'

No, no, no, no ... yes, you do. What are the other options? Coming soon in the series on Chores and Children.

Fear is the absolute worst place to make decisions as a parent: it pushes kids away, creates rebellion, gives us our very own heart attacks, and doesn't keep our kids safe, anyhow. 'But the world is dangerous,' they say, and, 'people are dangerous, and kids think they're bulletproof...' as if that's a reason to make choices out of fear. It may feel like a compelling argument, but it's not a good reason. There is an antidote to this: THE PRESENT MOMENT, from The Way & the Power of Mothering

Browsing through an old portable hard drive, I have discovered some old writing... including some of my terrible, hilarious, weird poetry. This one goes, I think, with the post about how the curmudgeons always claim these kids are the 'worst ever'... check that one out here. Apologies are probably in order, but here goes: There Will Always Be Rebels In the stillness of morning air 3 small branches dancing there The apple tree is old and staid But in its small twigs, breezes played. 'Settle down…