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Find All Linda's Older Blog Posts Here
30-Sep-2020
Link to the original blogspot, with posts dating back to 2008
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As a lifelong waterbaby, I spent a lot of time very happily in the water. Our spot on the beach was shady and warm, the lake was cool and perfect for swimming and the beach was perfect for picnics and suntanning. There were a lot of other people, teens in groups, friends in pairs, and families, who agreed. It was a very busy beach. My enjoyment of the day was upset as I watched in distress as a dad was happily and accidentally traumatizing his baby. I noticed them because although they were 200 …
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Surrender to the necessity of the task
Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water
After enlightenment: chop wood, carry waterThere will be no time in your life when feeding and cleaning does not need to be done, however much modern conveniences ease the work. Accept that it must be done, without end.
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Be it resolved that the truth of kids doing chores is: ‘we all need to work as a family.’
Opposed: How do you know that’s true?
Affirmative: it’s self-evident: it’s our home and we need to work together for it to be peaceful and healthy
Even if by 'working together' you mean one's the boss and everyone else is a minion?
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Be it resolved that the truth of kids doing chores is ‘mom/dad needs a break.’
Opposed: How do you know that’s true?
Affirmative: I/we work hard
Opposed: Good. Hard work is good for people, especially their mental health.
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Be it resolved that the truth of kids doing chores is ‘they need to learn how.’
... argue that point in the affirmative, and see where it gets you...
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Question 1. How can I improve my kids’ attitudes toward helping out at home? Short answer: good luck with that.
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Parent says 1. I really need kids to pitch in (write in reason of choice: single parent, busy schedule, ailing parents, demanding job, kids waste time, they have to, it’s their turn…) What parents need isn't for kids to handle. Adults help kids with their needs, not the other way around.
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Parent Question 1.
How can I make my child listen?
Parent Coach Answer 1.
You mean 'obey.'
No, no, no, no ... yes, you do. What are the other options? Coming soon in the series on Chores and Children.
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Fear is the absolute worst place to make decisions as a parent: it pushes kids away, creates rebellion, gives us our very own heart attacks, and doesn't keep our kids safe, anyhow. 'But the world is dangerous,' they say, and, 'people are dangerous, and kids think they're bulletproof...' as if that's a reason to make choices out of fear. It may feel like a compelling argument, but it's not a good reason. There is an antidote to this: THE PRESENT MOMENT, from The Way & the Power of Mothering